Ed's A God!
by Kitty Freak
Summary: Just a random day with Edward and the gang. Please review! My first one!
1. Chapter 1

_**ED'S A GOD! **_

Written by Kitty and translated by Clap-For-Carolyn

00

One morning, Ed, Al, and Mustang where walking down the street of a random town in the middle of nowhere.

"Mustang, why again are we walking down the street?"

"Because I got a letter saying that there was a chimera sighting in the area." Mustang replied, and thought to himself 'And I need to pick up my dry-cleaning for my date.'

Being to involved in his thinking, he didn't see danger looming.

Out of nowhere, and quite randomly, a stampede of 10,000,000,000 kittens appeared!

"YAY! KITTIES!" Alphonse yelled joyfully and happily raised his arms in the air as they ran by, toward Mustang and Ed.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! MUSTANG, RUN!" Ed screamed, knowing they where about to be completely trampled.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO! MY DRY-CLEANING!" Mustang sobbed and was over taken by the rampaging kittens.

"_Dry-cleaning! _AGGGGGGGGGGGGG!" Ed too succumbed to the tsunami of fuzziness.

"WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" And Al was having the time of his life…

Now folks, you have to remember that this was no ordinary kitten stampede. It was a transport-you-to-an-unknown-island kitten stampede. And back to the story.

Mustang was still crying while Ed searched franticly for Al.

"Al! AL! ALPHONSE!"

"Yes brother?" Al walked up, holding a bunch of cute 'lil kitties.

"What happened!"

"We where transported to an unknown island." He said and pulled Mustang's dry-cleaning out of his armor and presented it to the weeping man.

"And how did you know THAT!"

"Kitty typed it up. Didn't you see it?"

"Noooo, I was to busy getting trampled by a magical kitten stampede!" Ed started ranting, while Mustang had a heart touching reunion with his clothes.

"My dry-cleaning! YAY!"

"Okay…well we need to start a fire…" Ed's face broke out in an evil grin.

"Ohhhhhhh, Mustang! Can I barrow your dry-cleaning for a minute?"

"Sure, but I need it back when your done."

"And Al, may I barrow your leg?"

"But brother, why-"

"Just get over here and help me with the fire!"

Ten minutes latter…

"Wow Fullmetal. How did you start the fire with out me or my gloves?"

"I used your dry-cleaning. It smelled like cat anyway."

"WHAT!"

"I told you that was a bad idea brother, but nooo…"

The next morning…

"Wustang, wi wate wou…"

Ed, now badly burned and beaten, glared at his superior.

"WUSTANG!" Al went in to a hysterical fit of giggles. Mustang punched him, but it had adverse effects.

"OWWWW! THAT HURT!"

"Well weah. We's wade wut wof warmer."

Incase you couldn't tell, Ed's cheek is veeeery swollen. Yup. And Al went back in to giggles while his older brother glared at him.

"Reh he hehhe ho! Reh he hehhe ho! Reh he hehho!"

At this point, natives of the Unknown Island of Magical Kittens had come up to the trio and started to worship Ed.

"What ware whey waying!"

"I think their saying 'Ready Steady Go'. " Al concluded.

"What!" Ed and Mustang exclaimed.

"Clap and Carolyn said it was the universal FMA theme song."

"………………………"

"AAAAAAAAH!" Then the natives grabbed Ed and took him back to their village.

The Village 

The three of them stared at the huge statue of…Ed's head!

Ed blinked then yelled; "WHAAAAAAAAAAA!"

And Mustang joined in; "WHAAAAAAAAAAAAA! I WANNA STATUE!"

"Awwwwwwwwwwww!" The two of them turned to the blushing suit of armor.

"Brothers got fans!"

"And I repeat: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA?"

The swelling had gone down by this time.

"!Edllifluf neeb sah ycehporp eht"

"What the!"

"I'll translate. They're speaking backwards." Al offered. "They said: The prophecy has been fulfilled!"

Ed blinked again. "What prophecy?"

"Edllifluf!" Mustang burst out in to laughter.

"Okay." Al turned to the natives. "?Ycehporp eht si tahw"

"sVT era rof noitpecer doog su evig dna emoc dluow annetna taerg eht tahT"

"Well, basically, your their new TV antenna."

"WHAT! MUSTANG, CALL HEADQUARTERS!"

"I don't think I need to. Their already here."

"Wow. That was fast."

"Hello Lieutenant Hawkeye!" Al greeted, forever polite. "W-what are you wearing!"

Ed blinked. Yet again.

Hawkeye had shone up with her hair down, makeup on, nice jewelry, and in _a slinky black dress! _

"How did you get here so fast!"

"I installed a tracker in Roy's watch, incase he got lost on the way to our date. Oh. Oops."

"WHAT!"

"That's what the dry-cleaning was for! Until YOU burned it!"

"Okie! Bye bye antenna boy!" The four turned to the natives.

"NANI! You can talk like us!"

" 'Corse. You never asked.

00

FIN 

Carolyn: Dat was funs!

Clap: We got to beta! WEEEEEEEEEEE!

Carolyn: It was originally an omake, wasn't it Kitty?

Kitty: What that?

Clap: Oye…Omake is an extra, usually in script form. Like this was before.

Kitty: Ohhhhh.

Carolyn: Oh well. BE NICE TO MY LITTLE BROTHER AN REVIEW! It's his first ficy!

Kitty: **_ED'S A GOD! _**Chapter two, come soon to an Internet Explorer near you! Please give ideas and suggestions!

Edllifluf is pronounced Ed –lee- fluff.


	2. Chapter 2

**Ed's A God! **

**Chapter Two**

**Written by Kitty Freak and beta by Clap-For-Carolyn**

0.0 0.0

Today, Riza, Ed, and Al are going somewhere special. Why? Because it's some one's big day!

"Riza, WHY do I have to wear a suit? You didn't make Al…"

"That's because I have a gun, and you've seen what I have to do to get Black Hayate to be good. And Al is already a suit of armor, so it's doesn't make since for him to wear another suit."

She hummed a little song and undid the safety on her trusty gun while Ed back away and hid in Al, very freaked out and scared for his life.

"What's wrong, brother? Are you scared of Riza?"

"No!" he scurried back out of Al's armor.

At Roy's House 

When the trio finally reached their destination, Roy's House, he was sitting out on his steps, wearing a ridiculous party hat. That's right, it's Roy's 'big day', his birthday!

Ed began to snicker when he saw him.

"Hey Mustang, is that a dunce cap yo-" His wise crack was cut off by the presence of cold steel on the side of his forehead. "ur going to make me wear? Heh heh heh?" He managed a nervous laugh.

"Why Fullmetal, that's a _wonderful _idea!" Roy said with an evil smirk and promptly placed it on Ed's head. The younger alchemist only dared to glare.

"Riza, I thought I said no guns."

"Can't compromise your safety, sir."

"Aw, Ed! You ruined the presents!"

"Wha?"

"Presents?"

Al opened up the chest of his armor to reveal several smushed gifts.

"I can transmute them back latter. Lets just go already!"

"All right! To the ice skating rink!"

"WHAT!" Ed yelled, and Roy looked at him.

"It's my birthday, so I get to decide where we go."

"Fine, but I'm NOT wearing this hat!" Ed took it off and stomped on it.

"But, br-"

"NO BUTS!"

At the rink 

"Won't I be to heavy?"

"Umm…"

"Well?"

"Just don't cry if I tell you the answer, ok?"

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! It's not my fault I'm so big!" Al dissolved in to tears, (Even though I have no idea how armor cries) at the hard reality.

"Hey Fullmetal, catch!" Roy tossed a pair of ice skates in Ed's direction, and the blades accidentally sliced off his antenna.

"AAAAAAAAAAGGGGGG!"

Ok, so lets think of how Ed would look if he didn't have his antenna. Got it? Good. Back to the story.

The other three simply looked at Ed.

"That was sooo awesome!" Riza grinned insanely, and it was Ed's turn to stare at her.

"Lets just go…"

Out on the rink, Roy issued a challenge to Ed.

"Lets see who's more awesome at skating when I beat you in a race!"

"Your on!"

Roy, unfortunately, tripped and Ed got a head start.

Ed managed to get around the rink about ten more times before Roy had even finished his first lap.

"Wow, this was easier than I thought! Ha ha, you are so s-" He was once again cut off by a gun to the head.

A security guard happened to notice a child being threatened by a crazy woman with a gun.

"MISS! WHERE DID YOU GET THAT GUN!" He began to chase after Riza.

"Nooo! I need this gun for my dogs!"

"I'm taking you in!" The security guard grabbed Riza and threw her in jail.

Back at the rink, Roy was still having a hard time, and he slipped for the 18th time.

At that time, a whole hoard of fan girls came up to Ed and started squealing.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

"AGGGGGGGGG!" He yelled as they proceeded to glomp and smother him.

And Roy was feeling left out, so he tried to show off to the girls.

"Hey, what about me? I'm the best, aren't I?" He said as he fell.

"Wow, he's bad. Is this guy your friend?"

"Mes, me my miend." Ed managed to gasp out from out from underneath the girls.

Later… 

Now lets see what everyone is doing…

Al was still at the rink, glooming excessively, while Riza was attempting to reach Roy's cell phone. Yes, his CELL PHONE. Get over it.

"Pick up damn it, pick up Mustang! I need 1,000 cenz bail!" She yelled in to the receiver, and her voice only came out as a small squeak on the other end.

CRACK!

Roy fell yet again, smashing some thing in his pocket.

"Oops, I knew I shouldn't have brought it…"

"AAAAAAAA!" Ed ran past Roy, in nothing but his boxers, as the rest had been striped off by the fan girls. He jumped in to Al to try and hide, but they ripped his armor open and dragged Ed away…

_**In the Fan Girls closet, AKA the worshiping closet.**_

"You are sooooooooooooooo hot. Strawberry?"

The Fan Girl offered a strawberry to the blonde in the fetal position on the floor.

"No more fan girls… no more fan girls… no more fan girls…" he began to mutter.

"You're a God to us!"

"No more fan g- …………………… God? Really? YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! Waaait, US!"

"Yup. Me and my little sis!" She presently opened the closet door and a small girl bounced in.

"I LOVE YOU!" the little fan girl squealed. "Can you give me your autograph?"

"Uh…sure. Here ya go." Ed signed his name on the offered piece of paper.

"WHAT! YOU'RE A FAKE! YOUR NOT FRANCHESCO!"

They both screamed at poor confused Ed, and kicked him out of the closet. Al and Roy had been waiting for the girls to stop obsessing so that they could retrieve the alchemist.

"Sooooo…I guess your not a god anymore?

"Why can't I be a real god!" He sobbed out.

"Ya know…" Mustang thought for a moment. "I can't shake the feeling that we forgot some thing."

Meanwhile… 

Riza tried Roy's phone for the 37 time, and again got a busy signal.

"PICK UP DAMN IT!"

FIN 


End file.
